When I get overwhelmed I just shut down.
It usually strikes around 7 am and 4 pm. When there are 5,000 things to do and everyone wants something. That's when I find myself heading to my end of the couch with my blanket. I can not handle it. I simply begin to shut down. I can't make any decisions, I can't focus on a to do list, I can't seem to accomplish anything.
I go to my spot, turn inward, and just simply shut down. This is a real problem when you add the three hungry kids and the full time working Husband into the mix. At 7 he is just getting home from work and needs to get to sleep. At 4 he is getting ready to go back to work and getting mentally prepared for his "day". It's my job to take care of things around here. This is the job I chose, and I am finding that frequently I can't handle it.
I don't know if it's the added mental battle against my fear all day long. I don't know if it's a faith battle. I don't know if I am just not cut out for the job I took. No matter what the issue is here, I need to find a solution. There are certain things that help. My Hubby offering to take one thing off of my plate helps a ton, but then I feel guilty for the rest of the evening for adding to his stress instead of being his helpmate. Accomplishing one small thing seems to start a snowball effect. If I can push past the automatic self destruct and get one thing done I can usually keep moving forward. Another thing that helps occasionally is to make it easy, don't push to be too elaborate. Keep it simple stupid. For example, if I am having trouble getting dinner on then maybe chicken nuggets instead of made-from-scratch macaroni and cheese.
Even with these little tricks I have learned there are still days when I can't push through it. When moving forward is not an option and the only thing I can do is curl into myself and pretend I am somewhere else. It brings on a whole big helping of self loathing and guilt. Which, does NOT help. Talk about making things worse!
So I guess my question is, does this happen to you too? If so, how do you get through it? Is there a veteran Mom out there who can shed some light on this for me? I don't want to keep hiding away and stealing precious hours from my family.
It usually strikes around 7 am and 4 pm. When there are 5,000 things to do and everyone wants something. That's when I find myself heading to my end of the couch with my blanket. I can not handle it. I simply begin to shut down. I can't make any decisions, I can't focus on a to do list, I can't seem to accomplish anything.
I go to my spot, turn inward, and just simply shut down. This is a real problem when you add the three hungry kids and the full time working Husband into the mix. At 7 he is just getting home from work and needs to get to sleep. At 4 he is getting ready to go back to work and getting mentally prepared for his "day". It's my job to take care of things around here. This is the job I chose, and I am finding that frequently I can't handle it.
I don't know if it's the added mental battle against my fear all day long. I don't know if it's a faith battle. I don't know if I am just not cut out for the job I took. No matter what the issue is here, I need to find a solution. There are certain things that help. My Hubby offering to take one thing off of my plate helps a ton, but then I feel guilty for the rest of the evening for adding to his stress instead of being his helpmate. Accomplishing one small thing seems to start a snowball effect. If I can push past the automatic self destruct and get one thing done I can usually keep moving forward. Another thing that helps occasionally is to make it easy, don't push to be too elaborate. Keep it simple stupid. For example, if I am having trouble getting dinner on then maybe chicken nuggets instead of made-from-scratch macaroni and cheese.
Even with these little tricks I have learned there are still days when I can't push through it. When moving forward is not an option and the only thing I can do is curl into myself and pretend I am somewhere else. It brings on a whole big helping of self loathing and guilt. Which, does NOT help. Talk about making things worse!
So I guess my question is, does this happen to you too? If so, how do you get through it? Is there a veteran Mom out there who can shed some light on this for me? I don't want to keep hiding away and stealing precious hours from my family.
I struggle with this too sometimes. It is at its worst when I am home on my own with lots of things to do. It's then that I can't find the motivation and I get overwhelmed. However, as soon as Andy walks in the door, or a friend calls, or I have contact with the outside world, I seem to find my stride again. When I am totally alone that's when it's hardest.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, thank you for your honesty! Second of all, that is a very good observation. As I think about that it rings true that often when it happens I am feeling isolated. Either in my head or in real life. Awesome insight! Thank you!!
DeleteSo glad I found your blog! Thank you for your honesty. I don't have any advice on how to get out of it but you have to know that you're not alone. Like you said, maybe it's a battle against your fears (I have the same fears), or maybe it's a faith battle... I'd say it's both. It is for me anyway. All day long I battle against my fears and for my faith. Some days I feel victorious and other days not so much. But from reading your blog, I know you are strong. Be encouraged because YOU ARE cut out for the job.
ReplyDeleteNo, you're not alone, Sara. There are many days I don't feel cut out for the job, either! But you know what? I think God places us all in situations where it's apparent we don't have what it takes - because then it forces us to rely on Him and Him alone! :)
ReplyDeleteHaving said that, I totally get what you're saying about the morning and late afternoon hours. I often feel overwhelmed when I have things to accomplish (ie, getting to school on time or getting dinner made) and the kids all need something at once. Where we differ is that I don't react by shutting down - I react by yelling! (ugh) I will say that one thing that helps me during the dinner prep hours is letting the kids have their tv time then. Or using a crockpot so that dinner prep isn't as complicated. Things go a lot smoother that way. Also just in general getting plenty of sleep and plenty of prayer time before the day starts. Hope this helps!
Steph
Wow thank you all! Those are awesome words of encouragement and fantastic suggestions! I didn't expect this much love for admitting something I've worked so hard to keep hidden.
ReplyDelete